Covid-19 Series, Entry #4

Today I wrote up a protocol for how to allow someone dying of Covid-19 to die comfortably on life support machines because the act of actually removing the life support machine poses an increased risk of transmission to the providers present at the bedside.

So, there’s that.

In other news, I’m learning a lot from working at home.  So to lighten the mood…

  1. I am the human embodiment of a mullet.  I am interfacing virtually with patients at the hospital, so I tend to wear nice, professional looking attire on my top half and the bottom half is anybody’s guess.
  2.  Speaking of pants, I now understand why women my age live in yoga pants.  When you put on a pair of yoga pants, you lie to yourself that you will, at some point, work out.  Not once have I inadvertently found myself on my stationary bike or randomly in a plank since I started wearing yoga pants on the regular.  I remain convinced it will happen.
  3. I am working on mastering the “perfect pee.”  The illusive urination that requires little to no toilet paper.  Open to suggestions.
  4. I feel compelled to check in with Danny at regular intervals during the day.  Like I need to prove that I’m actually working and not hiding in the basement snacking. I mean…I’m snacking, but I’m working too.
  5. Speaking of snacking, baking has become a coping mechanism for me.  Can we all just plan to gain 10lbs while we are isolated?  As a show of solidarity?  Then, if we all gain weight, the pounds cancel each other out and, really, nobody has gained any weight…if my thinking is correct.
  6.  My actual co-workers at the hospital are perfectly fine with my cursing tendencies.  In fact, they are the people who have helped me hone these skills over the years. My “co-workers” at home are not as versed in ‘trucker-talk’ and I’ve really had to reign it in.
  7.  Everyone I know has a perpetual headache and sore throat.  Which leads us to believe that we all have Covid-19.  Man, I have never been less worried that I have metastatic cancer. Thanks Covid!
  8.  Grounds for divorce have changed dramatically.  One month ago I couldn’t imagine reaching out to a divorce attorney because Danny wore his shoes in the kitchen and sat an amazon package on the counter.
  9.  Apparently there is a bunch of beef between T Swift and Kim Kardashian. Man, I wish I had the time and energy to really care.
  10.  I feel insanely nervous watching TV shows where the characters are standing really close together.
  11. Even though you can’t pick your nose, you can still pick your underwear out of your butt crack freely and unabashedly.  This should be celebrated!
Tuesday at 9:00pm seemed like a reasonable time to make sugar cookies.
I nailed the buttercream icing, but in doing so used the heavy cream that was for the Brandy Alexanders…oops.
My work station…from the waist up, it would appear that I am very professional.

Stay well friends!


8 thoughts on “Covid-19 Series, Entry #4

  1. That was good…I needed a little levity….btw, I keep thinking the characters in the books I’m reading aren’t following the social distancing rules!


  2. My mom’s SO told me this one like a late-night host:
    “We’ve all heard about the ‘Freshman Fifteen’ but have you heard about this? Now they’re talking about the ‘Covid Nineteen’ ”


  3. Any availability to share your protocol? My hospital does not have the thriving palliative care service that you guys do. Always love your writing. ❤


  4. Christi I’m sure your team is totally fine sharing, with attribution to your work, and the promise to share whatever anyone figures out to make it better!


  5. Love it, and so true. About pants. I purposely went to Walmart and bought PJ bottoms for my work week, so I didn’t have to wear yoga pants all the time. And my cussing has risen to heights it hasn’t been at for years. We all deserve an honorary degree in informatics when this is over. Thanks girl miss ya!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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